Extroverts vs Introverts

So I’m still at university by the way, and I have now moved into a house with 2 other girls. We all get along but the way I describe it to other people is that this house is just simply halls but with a lot less people. Now when you move into a house with other people obviously there are  a lot of changes, and things that are different, and one thing is the introvert vs the extrovert. (I mean you could talk about bills and other boring adult things but nobody cares about that haha XD)

The two girls that I live with are more acquaintances than friends, which I know sounds bad, but really we didn’t hang out before, we don’t hang out now, and we have our own friends anyways so its fine we all get on. But we are all different characters and one of my house mates I’d say is just like me. Keeps herself to herself, is polite when you see her, and will otherwise leave you alone, but the other is a completely different character.

She’s extroverted, and for an introvert this can sometimes be really annoying. I mean when our internet went down just a second ago, I pulled out my lip and made a sad face, but I hear my house mate in the room next to me sighing and swearing at her computer. She is a lot more expressive and cares a lot less about what anyone thinks and in some respects that can be great. However with regards to any negative emotion this can be more of a curse.

Walking home with her the other day, instead of having a nice conversation I felt like I was being interrogated as to why I wont work at McDonalds! Now to her it was probably just another normal conversation, but to me it felt like an attack when it should have just been a simple conversation :-/ and you might be wondering why I don’t say anything to her then if I felt that way, let me remind you I’m an introvert.

Being an introvert it is harder to express how you’re feeling and I am very shy and I hate confrontation, so I was never going to do that, plus the fact that I know nothing would come of it. Anyways this makes being with her more difficult and I end up getting more and more frustrated at the tiniest little thing that she does. For example if she asks if I want to join her for coffee I’m just thinking “oh my god she knows what I’m like, that I like being left alone and she knows we don’t have anything in common, why would she do this, god I wish she’d just leave me in peace”  when really I should appreciate that I received an offer in the first place.

Being introverted has its perks though, sure it might make socialising a bit more difficult but it means you appreciate and enjoy personal space. I love having time to myself in my room doing my thing, and whereas extroverts might see that as wasting my life, I see it as a time for me to unwind and for me to enjoy my life the way I want to.  And when you’re at university and you will be inevitably spending a lot of time on your own, this is a good thing. Plus I just simply like staying in, there is nothing about going out that entices me. I don’t drink, I don’t stay up all night, I’m an early riser, and so the idea of staying out late in a place where most people are probably drunk just doesn’t appeal to me. Being warm, wearing pj’s, in bed, with chocolate and a movie sounds way more appealing in my opinion haha 🙂

At the end of the day though, everyone is a little bit of both. My house mate doesn’t go out all the time and does typically keep herself to herself, and I like to dance and sing and I am not ashamed to do that when I’m completely sober, in a club, at 2am haha :-p It’s simply about finding the balance in yourself and with others that allows there to be harmony 🙂

Hope you’re all having a great day and are feeling super festive as it is getting closer to Christmas! I am now going to open my advent calendar and then go to bed haha 🙂 Night!

Alice x

 

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My Journey

My academic journey hasn’t been the smoothest of rides.

I thought I’d give you a bit of history today, my history and my memories. This is going to be on a topic that I like to talk about the most because it really has affected my life and no matter how many times people have heard the story, I can’t let it go, it’s apart of my history and it always will be.

I’ve never been academically intelligent. I was brought up with parents who are quite intelligent, especially with regards to life, they just don’t have the paper to prove it. I was also brought up with a sister who was and has always been intelligent. She’s never had any trouble in school in achieving average and above average grades. My family encouraged education, and they have always wanted both my sister and me to achieve so we can have the best chance at life. Well life wasn’t all that plain sailing for me.

I struggled, a lot, which my parents often blamed upon my birthday. I am born in August and statistically, August babies have a tougher time in school because of the rest of their class being basically a year older than them. I never worried about it as a kid, I was good, I did my work, and I turned up to school everyday and so I was doing everything a good kid should do. However, naturally my parents and my teachers were concerned with my lack of progress.

Now many people think that children don’t know anything, that they are clueless and this is where they are wrong. I may have not been too concerned about my progress as a child, but even as a kid you know when people are worried about you, you know when they are giving you special attention because you just can’t do it. I didn’t like people worrying about me, if I wasn’t worried then why were they? I knew why they were worried, but I didn’t want them too, because I was good, and I tried, what more did they want from me?

To give you an idea of my lack of intelligence then I’ll put it in perspective for you. It started young, I couldn’t speak at the age of 3, I had to go back to basics in reading when I was 7 because I couldn’t read, when I was 9 I was two years behind in maths, when I was 10 I still couldn’t tell the time, and for nearly every lesson from reception to year 6 in my school life I was that kid to be dragged out of class to have “special sessions” with the teaching assistant.

Kids aren’t dumb, I may not have been academically smart, but it wasn’t hard to tell that I was different, and not the good kind. I worked hard, I listened, I did everything that every child did yet I didn’t understand the things that everyone else found so simple. It wasn’t fair, I hadn’t done anything wrong, why me? That’s all I ever wondered was why me? Especially as I had a sister who had no problems with anything, why couldn’t I be like that?! I was being compared to my sister and my parents were so proud of her because she achieved, and I had to compete with that. I couldn’t do it, and instead of getting pride, I received sympathy, and I hated that so much, so please I am not telling you this because I want sympathy, I just want to write about my journey.

I was good at other things, but they were useless things, at least in the eyes of my parents and the school since they wouldn’t help me in the future. Now don’t get me wrong, my teachers and my parents were very supportive and loving through my school life and they never discouraged what I was good at, they just knew at the same time I needed to understand this academic stuff otherwise I wouldn’t have a future.

I was good at sport and drama, and whenever I talked about the future with my parents I would mention these things because that’s what I was good at, but a job in those fields was difficult and therefore seen as unrealistic for me to achieve by my parents so they didn’t encourage it. They would say things like “you can try sweetie, just don’t be disheartened because it is difficult to do and it is rather unlikely.” Don’t worry guys, you already disheartened me. Now again I don’t want to blame my parents for anything, they were good to me and have always been, and they were just doing what they thought was right and I respect that. My sister wanted to be a history teacher, and she is still working towards that goal today, naturally my parents encouraged that, but me, I never had a dream, and have always therefore found it hard to understand people who have dreams, especially dreams that I deem unrealistic. I admire them at the same time though, because they are able to do what I couldn’t.

I spent a lot of time working as a kid, basically because I didn’t have a choice. I had to understand this work and I had to keep up with the other children. All I wanted to do was play and run, I  could do that, not this maths homework that everyone else had finished hours ago and I was still doing. I had a lot of friends though when I was kid, I was good at sport and I was kind to everyone so it was easy for me to be friends with everyone. However, being friends with everyone meant that you would be the person they ask questions to, and obviously I never knew the answer. The reply “I don’t know” became an automatic response because it was the truth, I never knew. So I made myself a promise at the end of year 6, that I would be smarter when I went to secondary school, that I would know the answers from now on, and that I will be like everyone else.

Secondary school came along and yeah, I became smarter. I was finally achieving like everyone else, I struggled at some points during my time there, especially during A-level, but overall I had done what I’d promised myself, I’d become smarter. Yet the fear of failing was always lurking around the corner like a ghost, I spent my time constantly worried that I’d go back to the way I was and being behind again, and the future was getting closer and closer. Yes, now I had to actually be truly concerned about my future for the first time. Choosing GCSE’s, A-levels and university course, it was all very stressful, but here I am.

The past has left a scar on me for the rest of my life. I went through so much that no kid should have to go through, because you cant expect a child to go through that without repercussions. I spent a lot of time feeling worried, sad, angry and above all stressed and nothing can change that. Many adults don’t understand how a child can feel stressed, especially at such a young age, but when you put someone though that much pressure, it doesn’t matter what age they are, they’ll feel some sort of stress. It’s ok though because without it I wouldn’t be where I am today, and that’s why I’m writing this.

The other day I achieved a 1st grade at university, which is an A grade. I actually achieved this twice in one day, on two separate papers. These grades are amazing and obviously I’m very excited about my progress, but whenever I do well my thoughts naturally go to my past. If you had told my teachers and my parents when I was younger that one day, I was going to be a university student, studying philosophy and religion and achieving A grades, they probably would have said something similar to what they told me then: “you can try sweetie, just don’t be disheartened because it is difficult to do and it is rather unlikely.”

The reason I’m telling you this, or more the reason that I’m writing this, is because I got myself to where I am today. I am grateful for my teachers and parents help, but I was the one who worked harder than any other kid and I was the one trying to make it all worth while, and I did it.

I want you guys to believe in yourselves, to work for yourselves, and to achieve what you want to achieve no matter what it is, because only you know what you can do. I’ve come a long way and I’ve taken some damage along the way, but its ok because I did it. I’m going into the future doing what I want and working for what I want because even when it looked so unlikely that this would ever happen to me, I did it. This is my journey, make yours just as worth while.

Alice x

The Best Week Ever <3

Hey guys, thought I’d give you a little university update since I haven’t done one in a while 🙂 I haven’t even done a post in a while…sorry about that just nothing seems to be inspiring enough :-/ However, this is on my mind and I feel like it should be documented to look back on in the future 🙂

So after Christmas, I got back into the swing of university having to revise for and take an exam…yay…but to be fair I only had one which I did alright on so I was very happy to have accomplished the first semester quite successful academically 🙂

Now the new term has started I am studying eastern religions and philosophy, Nietzsche’s philosophy on the death of God and Plato’s book the Republic. So far I think it’s been going quite well, I enjoy the modules most of the time and naturally I have a lot of work but I think giving my opinion in the form of an essay hahaha its easier than arguing with another philosopher, trust me hahaha :-p

To be honest though not much has happened since starting back at university. I’m becoming closer and better friends with the people on my course and with my initial friends I made in the first semester which is good and basically all I’ve been waiting for has been this week. Now again like usual you’re probably wondering what the title has to do wit this blog post, well I’ll tell you.

My boyfriend has just finished his visit here and he was here for a week. He came in time for our first Valentine’s day together which was magical ❤  I pondered the idea of writing a Valentine’s day post, however everything felt too typical, like I’ve written these things before and although this has been my first Valentine’s day with someone, I do have advice on the best ways to celebrate Valentine’s whether your in a relationship or not. Yet I decided against it, I thought any advice I could give wont match the thought and effort you should put in to make the day special 😉

While my boyfriend was here with me we explored Bangor a lot more and other parts of North Wales such as Llandudno which was awesome, and naturally we spent a lot of time together just hanging out and having fun in each others company 🙂 It has been the best week ever and I wouldn’t have changed a thing ❤ we ate so much food!!!! Oh my God it was amazing!!!! There is nothing better than eating food and chilling with your boyfriend either watching a movie or playing a game or simply hugging 🙂

Another reason for not doing a Valentine’s day post was because of all the mushy stuff I would have written about hahaha XD He means so much to me and when he’s with me he just makes everything so much better. We actually enjoy food shopping when we are together! He makes my life better and I love that…I love him 🙂

Bluuuuuuuurrrrrrr ok enough with the mushy stuff haha but honestly this week that I’ve spent with him has been the best and I can’t thank him enough for making it so special 🙂 From now on its back to work really BOOOOOOOOO but it has to be done and if I keep focussed enough then the time will fly and I’ll be able to see him again 🙂 Actually I’m looking forward to starting work, getting organised again, writing done ideas and so on, I’ve got a lot to say and an essay with 2000 words to say it in hahha XD

I hope you’re all doing well and I’ll speak to you soon 🙂

Alice x

The Uni Life: Part 2

Since freshers lets see I’ve done work, work, and a bit more work.

I mean I don’t know what I expected that’s why I came here for right? To be honest I really like my work, its super interesting and the assignments can be stressful but then again we don’t get a lot of work so its ok 🙂

I have found it hard to make friends, the people in philosophy aren’t the usual people I’d hang out with, but its getting a lot better! I’m close friends with my flatmate, and I have a few good friends in philosophy, so I’m getting there just slowly haha 🙂

Ummmm OH! I went clubbing for the first time! That was fun 🙂 naturally most teens were drinking and getting drunk, but I just like dancing and I went with my flatmates and they were all really fun and protective, which made me feel very comfortable especially for my first time 🙂

I also went to the walking club with my friend in philosophy and although there were some beautiful views and we did an amazing thing by climbing that mountain, I don’t think I’ll be doing that again anytime soon haha my legs weren’t ready for that! Also, I wasn’t ready for the thought of my sudden death if I take a wrong step! oh god hahah XD but I’m going to play netball tonight and that should be fun 🙂

I’m feeling a lot better than I was, I’m happier now that I’ve got my friends and that I’m trying more things. I only have 17 more days now until I go back home! Really excited to see my family, I miss my parents a lot, I haven’t seen them for around 3 months! So I’m really excited to see them and my sister 🙂 Actually speaking of my sister, she is coming to Bangor the day before I go back home so she can: see my halls, see my uni and Bangor in general, she can meet my friends, help me with my stuff when I go home and so I have company on the journey home 🙂 I cant wait to see my sis 🙂

So yeah that’s it really 🙂 enjoying my subject, my lecturers are really nice, I have myself a few lovely friends now, and I’m trying new activities all the time 🙂 I think this is the university experience I was looking for 🙂 However the count down to Christmas has begun and I am soooooooo ready! ….yeah….don’t know if you’ve noticed but I love Christmas hahaha XD

For the 12 days of Christmas posts, I plan on starting on the 14th of December and finishing on Christmas day, all Christmas themed posts and then it’ll go back to random stuff hahaha XD I hope you are all having a good day and I’ll speak to you guys soon 🙂

Alice x

The Uni Life: Part 1

So I have been at university for 2 weeks now, and I bet you are all so excited to hear about the shenanigans that went on during freshers week…yeah ok my freshers wasn’t like everyone else’s, did I go out ever? No, did I spend most of the time watching Naruto? Yes, but I have reasons for my actions.

As some of you know I haven’t been 18 for that long and therefore experiencing tings such as drinking or clubbing haven’t really happened yet. So during freshers I wanted to get to know my flatmates, as I am going to be living with them for the next year after all, and I wanted to settle in. It is literally like you are on one of those survival television shows, you have been left in the middle of no where and you have to survive…good luck!

Now don’t get me wrong I love it here, the town, the scenery, the accommodation, the uni, everything, but that doesn’t mean I’m immediately comfortable here. Never mind trusting a bunch of strangers to look after me while I try to “dance” in a club for the first time! Naturally I don’t drink too and so going to social events through freshers was difficult, because as you can probably guess a lot of the events involved big parties and a lot of alcohol.

During freshers I also met my philosophy and religion class for the first time…yeah…that was…ummm…yeah. I know stereotyping is bad, and I know we shouldn’t do it as you’re meant to get to know people, but admit it we all stereotype to see who we would be friends with and who we wouldn’t. I looked at my class and errr….yeah, nope no of them looked like the type of people I would hang out with simply from appearance. It turns out that a lot of the class wasn’t even there so I wasn’t too worried, but it still meant I had to be sociable for now. I made one friend that day an I see that as an achievement for super shy Alice hahaha XD  They also had a series of events on during the week, and I thought it be wise to go to them (lam as they sound) to make some friends and to get to know my lecturers etc. So I went along to the first one, which was a quiz night and it was so disastrous it was unreal. Firstly, next to no one turned up, then we had to switch rooms, then we all awkwardly waited for the quiz to start, and when it did it wasn’t even any good. It was overall such a boring, awkward waste of time and all I was thinking was “I could be eating food and watching Naruto right now” -.-

Freshers week went very slowly, which I guess could be considered a good thing as you get a longer break haha. Then there was the society fair, cant forget that! It was packed! You could not move to save your life and you had to line up before you even got in there were that many people! It was an experience and I’d like to say I joined some things that i’s really enjoy, but in reality I signed up for the religion and the philosophy society out of moral obligation towards my subject. Yeah I don’t want to go to that haha XD I wanted to find one club, that was it, I wanted to find the mountain walking society because I want to explore the scenery here as it is so beautiful, but could I find their stool? NO! 😦 It was so packed and everyone was shouting “join this, join that” and throwing paper in my face that the experience was awfully uncomfortable and not very successful 😦 bad times 😦

Although my experience of freshers may not have been the conventional one, I still enjoyed myself relaxing in my room, getting to know the area and spending time with my new friends. All the stress that was felt while waiting for results and waiting for university was definitely felt through freshers. I was outstandingly tired and that’s probably a huge reason as to why I didn’t go out much, also my shyness but you know we’ll ignore that haha :-p

Right now I have started my lectures and have now started the university experience. It is enjoyable I must admit, learning more about the subject you love as well as doing whatever and whenever you want, its a great sense of freedom. I still love it here and I love my flatmates the most :-* my advice for anyone who will or is currently experiencing freshers is to do whatever makes you happy. Don’t feel like you have to do anything that everyone else is doing because you have just been left in a new place and you will do everything you want to do at your own pace. Watching Naruto through freshers for me was the best thing to do. It allowed me to feel comfortable here and it gave me time to relieve some of the stress I had been feeling, and I do not regret nit taking part in any of the events at all, because you can go clubbing and you can go drinking with your friends at any time you want! Just be yourself and be happy 🙂  I hope my time here gets better and better as the days go on and I’ll speak to you all again soon 🙂

Alice x

 

University

So I haven’t blogged in a while and that’s because I’ve had no time! I have a couple of ideas in my head that I’d like to write about, but the main reason I haven’t been blogging is because I was so busy getting ready for university and now here I am!

I made it to Bangor University about 2 days ago and everything has been a lot easier than expected. A lot of that is thanks to my parents who have really helped me food wise! I don’t feel pressured or worried about not eating yet because they have stocked me up so well!

Also, my room looks awesome! I am so proud of myself, it just looks amazing. It has all the girly touches I wanted it to have and it jus feels like the perfect bedroom :-3

Today I am meeting with my fellow philosophy and religion students for the first time, and it really feels like my first day at school. Having to make new friends and know where you’re going, its basically like starting all over again. I’m sure it’ll be fine as soon as I get there 🙂

I’ve got on really well with my flatmates 🙂 They are all very friendly and nice people, which feels so good to have that community around you, as well as knowing who you can always go to if you need help.

The only thing o y mind is money, but I’m sorting that all out today and I’m sure I am absolutely fine 🙂

I’m feeling so much better about this whole experience now. I thought living alone was going to be stressful and saddening, but I feel really comfortable and happy here 🙂 The only thing that would make it better would be having my best friend here, but that was inevitable really. I miss him, but we talk all the time and love talking to him on Skype 🙂

So overall, not been blogging because of university but I will be blogging a lot more now that I’m here and settled 🙂

I love Bangor, and I can’t wait to share all the experiences I have on Alice’s Thoughts 🙂

Alice x